There is a lot of relationship advice given out to us about what is the right way to have a relationship and what is the wrong way. While I have my own views on what is right and what is wrong, so do you. Everyone has different definitions of what is right and wrong in a relationship – and nobody is more right than the other!

One size does not fit all. There is no right way to deal with problems that come up. There is no right way to deal with your in-laws. There is no right way to come to a compromise. The only ‘right’ way is the way that works for you. In other words, what works for your neighbor or best friend may have terrible results for you.

But, with that said, there is a right way for you and if you haven’t found it yet then you need to keep looking for a way. On that journey you should understand a few things that will hold true for any relationship.

3 – Men and Women are Different

Men and women handle situations differently. They vent differently. They figure things out differently. They feel better differently. Bottom line: men and women are different. The quicker you learn that, the quicker you will come to finding the way that works for you in your relationship, because just like relationships, all men and women are not created equal.

The best way to understand the difference between men and women is to first learn the most common differences by someone like author John Gray from ‘Men are From Mars and Women are From Venus’ as he clearly states the major differences between men and women.

Secondly, after you have a basic understanding of what the differences are, ask your partner how true those new descriptions you learned apply to them. Your partner may vary a little bit from what you learn, but chances are they will be able to relate to what you learned and expand on it for you.

Learning all of this will benefit your relationship greatly! You will gain real insight into how your partner works, what they need, and who they really are.

2 – There Will Be Some Moments You See Red

There is a myth that if you fight you are not in a healthy relationship. That is not true. Every relationship has its ups and downs, disagreements, and bumps in the road. You are going to fight at some moment in your relationship, but what matters is how you handle the fight.

A fight should have a start, middle, and end. If you argue about something and yell and scream at each other, and then never bring it up again – chances are you are going to have another fight about the same thing. You may even be left with hurt and angry feelings towards each other which will fuel even more fights.

After a fight you have some repair to do to your relationship. You will need to figure out a way to ‘let it go’ instead of holding onto the fight for a future moment. And you need to come out of the fight feeling good about yourself and your relationship instead of feeling down on yourself or as if you have ‘won’ something.

1 – Your Partner is Not Supposed to Make YOU Happy

Your partner should make you feel good, and you should enjoy being around your partner – otherwise, why are you together? But your partner is not responsible for YOUR happiness…your inner-self joy. Only you are responsible for that.

On the same note, you are also not responsible for your partner’s inner joy. That is their responsibility, and no matter how good you are to your partner you will never satisfy their happiness if they are not already happy inside.

You can only be truly happy when you are connected to your inner-self and the desires that it wants and needs. Your inner-self knows what path you want to take in life. It knows whether that cookie or chip will make you happy. It knows if you are doing things that are good for you or not. All you have to do is listen to it! Your partner can’t help you do that! You are the only one who can hear the inner you!

So remember, then next time you question whether you are and your partner in a healthy relationship think about the fact that you are unique, and what may be healthy for someone else may not be healthy for you. As long as you understand your unique partner, deal with fights in a good manner, and are happy with yourself and your relationship then that’s all that matters.